Culminating Blog Reflection

The journey through my Capstone project was one unforgettable ride. Volunteering at Rape Trauma Services (RTS) was definitely a rewarding experience, and I'm glad I got to spend my time there. I also feel like it really fueled my drive to write a good research paper because both topics are really important to me. 

When it came to critical thinking, I definitely had to wrap my brain around all the critical facts I discovered within working at RTS as well as doing research for my paper. Discovering facts about rape and women's struggle for equality is something that is not always easy to take. Although much of what I discovered throughout the Capstone were facts, it was hard to put the pieces together because some things that have happened (or are still happening) in society are just very hard to accept. For example, the fact that women were treated like such unintelligent people in the 1950s that weren't good for much more that cooking and cleaning is so hard to grasp, because now in the 21st century women aren't treated like that. Also, when it came to facts about rape victims, I had to connect the dots to figure out why so many rape cases go unreported because I never understood why so many people are ashamed to report such crimes. When it came to communication, there was definitely a lot of talking with my mentor and checking in on our progress, as well as a lot of communication with the other youth ambassador Maddie. We all communicated every week on what was going on, and how we were doing with the Capstone. During my research for my paper, I definitely talked a lot with my US History teacher, Ms. Mannion because i asked for a lot of documents she handed out last year that had to do with my research topic. I also talked a lot with Ms. DeKoven about my thesis, which was probably the biggest struggle when writing my paper. Now, collaboration and creativity went hand in hand especially at RTS! The most obvious event of collaboration and creativity came when me and Maddie had to make the umbrella poster for the volunteer appreciation event and also when we had to make what seemed like a ton of signs for the SAAM Walk. We definitely had to think of creative slogans and creative ways to put our ideas on paper, which was hard since both of us are creatively challenged! However, I think I did get my creative juices flowing during my time at RTS, so I was proud of that.

I definitely gained a lot of new knowledge while volunteering for such a short time at RTS. I never thought I'd learn and respect something so much. Personally, I NEVER thought in a million years I'd be volunteering at a rape crisis center. That in itself was a huge stepping stone for me because I was going into an area of work I didn't know much about. I didn't know how I was going to react to anything I would discover, so the act itself of choosing to volunteer at RTS was such a huge growing experience and a time for me to step out of my comfort zone. I was one of those people that thought if a woman or man is alone in a dark alley they have the biggest chance of being raped. Little did I know, most rape cases involve a loved one or friend. I also didn't knew how often it happened.I mean I knew it was very common, but I never in a million years would've thought that 1 in 3 (almost 1 in 2) women have been sexually assaulted by the time they turn 18! and I also never knew that 1 in 5 men are sexually assaulted by the time they turn 18. 

Intellectually, I discovered so many unknown facts that seriously opened my eyes to the problem of rape and sexual assault. A lot of my work was spent organizing paperwork and creating copies of readings and important papers, but even so I still learned a ton of information. A lot of the time I would skim through the readings that caught my eye, and the things I read definitely stirred up a lot of emotions. Knowing that people go through molestation as a child or get raped by their husband or significant other or that sexual assault happens in all communities is just crazy. There are so many misconceptions about the topic of rape and sexual assault that it really made me stop assuming things and being ignorant.  For example, I was one of those people that was guilty of "victim blame" where when I found out about a girl who got raped at a party because she was drunk, I'd say something like "Well its her fault, she shouldn't have been at a party or getting drunk." When in reality, despite the unintelligent choices anyone may make, no one ever asks to be raped or sexually assaulted.I definitely realized how complicated this topic can be, and I learned to respect anyone that goes through sexual assault so much more than I ever did before my work at RTS.  This also caused me to want to educate my peers more about sexual assault because I feel like many of them are so uneducated and have misconceptions about this topic, so when I gave small presentations in senior english classes to inform them about RTS and sexual assault as well as to ask for donations, it felt good to know people actually cared. The fact that anyone even donated to this cause let me know that there are people that care about things like this and that my information got through to other people.

A definite challenge I faced was mustering up the courage to give the senior english class presentations. I didn't know how to give my peers the necessary information for them to be interested in this cause without overloading them with information in a short amount of time. I wanted them to care because I care about such a strong topic, but I wanted to give them good reasons to donate because I didn't want to just ask for donations to give to RTS. I wanted them to want to donate because it was their choice, and not just because I asked. I was scared no one would care about what I had to say, or that no one would donate. That's when I came to Jessica to ask for help, and she really gave me a boost of confidence! I explained my worries and doubts to her, and she was able to help guide me with information that I felt like my peers would be interested enough in to donate. However, even after meeting with Jessica and getting the information I thought was crucial, I was still very nervous to do the presentations. I finally got the courage, and told myself to just do it. I'm glad I did because it was so rewarding knowing that people genuinely cared. All in all, I can't believe how much fun I had at RTS and doing this project. Im definitely honored that I got a chance to work with such amazing people.

Hours

I admit I have been lagging on my hours posts for the last couple weeks. May has just been crazy, and I even missed out on a couple days volunteering at RTS.

Tuesday, May 1st
On Tuesday,  Iris told me that RTS was running low on Brochure covers so my task was to make more. Within the brochure cover is 5 tabs with services and programs at RTS for people to read. All the covers and tabs were in boxes that were pretty heavy, so I was already almost sweating by the time I got out all the materials! Who knew you could get a workout in while at an office! Anyway, getting the materials took about 10 minutes, and I spent the rest of the time just cranking out brochure covers. I had to restock tabs about once to continue making more, but that was about it. Along with brochure covers, Iris also told me that they were running really low on information packets, so she told me if I had time to make enough brochure covers (which go inside the packets) to start on packets. I didn't end up making any packets on this day, but I knew that was going to be my task the next time I volunteered.

HOURS LOGGED: 1.5 hrs.
TOTAL: 31.5 hrs.

Tuesday, May 7th
Since I already knew my goal for this day, it was fairly easy to get started on my tasks. First, I wanted to make a bunch more brochure covers to make sure I didn't run out and we had some extra on hand. Then, I had to make more packets. I'm not sure if I ever said how packets were made, but I will now. Within the packet is three papers, titled "The Value of Crying", "Friends and Family- How You Can Help", and "RTS: Our Philosophy". I had to make copies of each one first so I could have it all set up in an assembly line along with the brochure covers. Making copies took a while, but I was still able to have time to make a lot of packets to restock the drawer. That was basically all I did on this day, so I'm really not sure if I will have to do the same next week.


HOURS LOGGED: 2 hrs.
TOTAL: 33.5 hrs.

SAAM Walk 2013! (Hours)

Saturday was the day! It was the SAAM Walk with RTS and it was pretty successful event! Maddie and I both went of course, and I brought along my boyfriend to support as well. We got there at around 11:15 am to register and get our shirts. I must say I LOVED the shirts because they werent basic short sleeve tees that fit awkwardly like most "made-in-bulk-big-event-tees" are made! They were grey and black baseball tees with the purple "RTS" logo along with the website on them! That was definitely a good start to the walk. Then we just waited around for another 20 minutes or so until the walk was scheduled to start, and in that time I saw that they had handed out the posters Maddie and I made and they looked great! It was so rewarding to see that people were holding up our signs ready to march around downtown San Mateo with them. Despite of how sick I was of making posters, I was so happy to see our hard work put on display.
Now, onto the walk... Starting off, Emily (the director of the walk) gave us a little speech about how the walk is going to go, and just said thank you's to everyone that came to the walk. We then got on our way and walked the EASIEST walk ever! It was a short 1.5 miles (maybe even shorter!), so it was really easy to keep our energy up. Also, there were cars that honked for us so that was a good energy booster along the way. After the walk, we came back to the park and ate lunch.
Our lunch consisted of really refreshing food! We had sandwiches, a fruit medley, watermelon slices, potato salad, pasta salad, chips, and water. Eating lunch pretty much took up the rest of our time, and we got to meet with other volunteers to chat with them. There were a lot of positive vibes and it was just a good place to be! Overall, I'd say this event was definitely rewarding, and I'd do it again!

I will be back to volunteering this week, so I'm not sure what Iris will have in store for me. However it will be kind of a sad week because Jessica left for Boston so she won't be at RTS anymore! It sucks because I feel like I didn't get to work with her that much and it's so great working with her too. It's too bad I only discovered RTS this year. Anyway, I hope that she does well in Boston and Iris will have a lot of cool things in store for me when I go back!

HOURS LOGGED: 2.5 hrs.
TOTAL: 30 hrs.

Hours

This post is LONG OVERDUE, I must admit. The last time I volunteered was two week, the week of 4/15-4/19. I didn't volunteer this past week because it was kind of a crazy schedule for me and since I passed up my 25 hours, I felt it was okay for me to take a week off. However, I will be back volunteering this upcoming week!

Tuesday, April 16th
On Tuesday, I continued making posters for the Walk because it was coming up on the 27th (which just passed actually). That was basically it, and I figured I'd be doing the same thing on Thursday.

HOURS LOGGED: 2 hrs.
TOTAL: 26 hrs.

Thursday, April 18th
On Thursday, the other volunteer Maddie was there at the same time I was, so I was happy that I wasn't alone today! Also, Jessica arranged to meet with us while we were there so we touched base with her just to talk about where we were at with our fundraising as well as just how we were doing with the overall project. She also gave us some readings on some more sexual violence facts as well as the recent rape cases that came up in the news. This was also our last day of making posters so we were excited about that! This visit was pretty short, so it was a pretty easy day.

HOURS LOGGED: 1.5 hrs.
TOTAL: 27.5 hrs.

Hours

This post includes my three most recent hour logs:
Tuesday, April 2nd; Tuesday, April 8th; and Thursday, April 11th
Since the SAAM walk is coming up, on all three of these days I worked on posters for the walk that we hold as we go the 2 miles. All posters are two sided, and since we want them to stand out and look appealing, they take a lot of time! Each poster takes about 20-30 minutes, and a lot of the time I'm there working by myself so I don't get many done. However, on the 2nd I was there with Maddie so we made quite a few posters. I think until the walk, I will be making posters every time I visit.

However, next week Iris will be on vacation so Jessica may have something else in store for me. I'll have to email her and see if my plans will stay the same while I'm at RTS.

Hours logged (April 2nd): 2 hrs.
Hours logged (April 8th): 2.5 hrs.
Hours logged (April 11th): 2 hrs.

TOTAL: 24 hrs.

Hours

Tuesday, March 26th
On Tuesday, me and another youth ambassador Maddie started and finished the project Iris had us do! Thank god Maddie came in on this day (she doesn't usually come at the same times I do), because I wouldn't have gotten it done without her. Since this poster was for an appreciation event for the RTS volunteers on Wednesday, we had to work about 30 minutes extra. I couldn't attend the appreciation event because I had dance class on Wednesday, but Iris and Jessica both said the poster was a big hit with everyone else! Here is a picture:

 

I'm very proud to say that this poster was my idea! The reason I chose an umbrella is because when we first met with Jessica and Iris, Jessica drew out this sexual assault umbrella in which different categories of sexual assault fell under it. I thought this would be a good representation of all the things volunteers do, because everyone at RTS does so many things, and they cover such a wide array of tasks. The raindrops represent some important facts of the things RTS staff accomplished in 2012. It's actually very interesting to know how many people RTS helps just in San Mateo County.

 

HOURS LOGGED: 2.5 hrs.

TOTAL: 15 hrs.

 

 

Thursday, March 28th

Yesterday was a pretty easy day. Iris had me sort through these charts that had SAC training hours on it. I had to make sure the hours they should've had matched up with the hours they did have. This took me the whole time because there were a lot of sections to look through, and since everything had to match up it was little tedious. Since this was the last day of school for spring break, I stayed a little longer today because there was no rush to go home. Also, RTS had some leftover carrot and chocolate cake from the appreciation event, so I was able to have a slice of carrot cake while I worked.

 

HOURS LOGGED: 2.5 hrs.

TOTAL: 17.5 hrs.

 

Next week, I hope I can finish the charts on Tuesday, but if not it'll just carry into Thursday. After that, I'm not sure what Iris has planned for me, because there's always something new to do! Also, just regarding the SAAM Walk, I really need to start planning how I'm going to ask for donations to raise money for the walk! It's all coming so fast.

 



1984 Theme

The theme in 1984 that I agreed with is that "There is strength in numbers." This can be clearly explained in the most obvious line from the novel where Winston wrote "If there is hope, it lie in the proles" (60). The proles made up about eighty-five percent of the population, yet they had no voice whatsoever. Winston, however, explains that since there are so many proles, their power to rebel will not be overrun because they completely outweigh the inner party members. Obviously one prole or person cannot cause a huge change, but if all those people were conscious enough to want to change, and acted on it, there wouldn't be anything in their way. Another great example of this theme is the quote, "Until they become conscious they will never rebel, and until after they they have rebelled they cannot become conscious" (61). Again talking about the proles, Winston knows that until they become aware of the severity of the problems they face in Oceania, there is no way to cause change. And it is not until they change that they become conscious of what they should've always known. This just goes to show that although there is strength in numbers,education is key to succeeding in change. When people in general become conscious and educated of the adversity thrown at them, and continue to educate others more and more about those problems, change can spread fast. It is obvious that when a large group of people are educated and interested in an issue or topic, each person can do one little thing to make a huge difference. Hence, the "strength in numbers theme", because the more people included in making a change, the faster the change will happen. I think this theme is universal, and can be proven true in any situation. Whether it be a positive or negative movement, as long as a lot of people are included, the strength and willingness to change is ten times more possible.

Hours

Tuesday, March 19th
Tuesday went a little different from the previous days at RTS. For the first hour or so I met with Jessica to talk about fundraising ideas for the SAAM walk because I've been having trouble figuring out how to attract my peers to ask them to donate to RTS for the walk. She gave me a couple packets/papers that she uses to give presentations at schools to outline her talks. She also gave me a packet from CALCASA (California Coalition Against Sexual Assault) that gave information from 2010 about Sexual Assault that I found VERY helpful in creating my ideas. I've been planning to give presentations in senior classes about the SAAM Walk, so I have to get right on planning from the things Jessica gave me. I felt so relieved after talking with her!
After I finished talking with Jessica, Iris had me restock certain papers/fliers she uses for events to hand out to people. I almost got done with that, but I will have to finish next week because my "work time" was cut shorter this week.
Next week on Tuesday especially, I have to start the appreciation project Iris gave me last week because the event is on Wednesday! I wasn't able to go to RTS today (Thursday) because I was doing an after school activity for ASB, so I'm very behind on this project! Hopefully I can bust it out on Tuesday and make it really nice so it will look presentable for the Wednesday event. I'm not sure what is planned for next Thursday so I will have to see what is in store for me then.

HOURS LOGGED: 2 hrs.

TOTAL: 12.5 hrs.

Hours

Tuesday, March 12th
 I finished the binders! I thought the process would go by quick but turns out I was missing copies of one particular paper that I didn't realize all the binders needed. I also had a slight setback with one of the other papers but I was able to get everything together in about 45 minutes or so? After I finished the binders, Iris had me start making more info packets that RTS gives out to anyone who comes in/wants one. They were running low, and I had to make more copies of the papers that went into the packets. I made a couple copies, and was only able to make a small handful of packets. Iris also explained another project I'm going to be working on in the next couple of weeks.

HOURS LOGGED: 2 hrs.

Thursday, March 14th
When I got to RTS today, Iris was busy somewhere else in the facility so I just began making more packets. It was kind of fun knowing that I was able to get the papers and supplies I needed without anyone helping me or telling me where to get it. I enjoyed the fact that I knew where things went, and how I was supposed to complete my tasks without being told. That being said, I popped out packets at warp speed! I wanted to get them done so I could move on to the next task in store for me. I was able to finish around 4 pm, and I made about 50! I had to pat myself on the back for that since I had to make copies along with making packets :).
Also, during my "packet making," Jessica came in and checked up on me (She does community work on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so when I come in, she's not there). I was so happy to see her! She just asked me how things were going and we're meeting next Tuesday regarding the SAAM walk fundraising.
After I was done with the packets, Iris introduced me to a new project and I'm sooo excited about it! It's a lot to explain in writing but we're basically working on an appreciation poster for all the RTS volunteers to show them how much they mean to the program. We basically spent the rest of my time brainstorming and looking at facts and came up with an idea. So for next week, my goal is to get started on making the actual poster with the materials Iris will be buying. I'm sure this will take up the rest of the time I'm not using to talk with Jessica.

HOURS LOGGED: 2 hrs

TOTAL: 10.5 hrs

Hours

Tuesday, March 5th
 On Tuesday, my other mentor, Iris gave me a new project to work on for the SACs (Sexual Assault Counselors). I had to fix some more binders for the SACs with multiple readings they need for their training. I was supposed to make sure all readings were present in each section and if not, I was supposed to make copies and then put the necessary readings in. I created a system of noting down which binders needed which papers, and that took up all my time since I had to look through six big binders.

HOURS LOGGED: 2 hrs

Thursday, March 7th
On Thursday, I finished up look through all the binders and went on to make the copies I needed. I was able to make all the copies for every binder and hole punched everything. I was able to complete one binder and I have five more to do for next Tuesday! (I've decided to go every Tuesday and Thursday now from 2:30-4:30)

HOURS LOGGED: 2 hrs

TOTAL: 8.5 hrs

For next week, I plan to definitely finish putting together all the binders, and Iris has many other projects in store for me. However one thing I wanted to share was that while sorting through all the readings/articles, I did take the time to actually read parts of them. I found a poem called "David Brings Me Flowers" which I thought was very interesting:

David bring me flowers
And he tells me he loves me
And I want to believe him.
My friends say I'm stupid
But they don't know David.
David brings me flowers
And he tells me he's sorry
When he loses his temper
And accidentally hits me.
My friends say I'm stupid
But they don't know David.
David hit me last night
And I thought he wouldn't stop.
It all seems like a blur
And my friends they were right
But David brings me flowers.
                              -Anonymous

I wasn't sure what to think when I read it, and I still don't. But for some reason this poem really resonates with me and I find it so powerful even though I don't understand how this person feels. It's safe to say this is a powerful piece of work.

1984 Ch.1-3

So far Wilson's biggest conflict is that he isn't content with the Ingsoc lifestyle in Oceania, and doesn't necessarily approve of it. In the first couple pages of the book, he thinks back to days before Oceania: "He tried to squeeze out some childhood memory that should tell him whether London had always been quite like this" (Orwell 7). The fact that he tries to think outside the box and question the lifestyle shows that he longs for the truth behind Oceania's "history" and that there is something wrong within the society. Also, it becomes obvious that he doesn't like the way society is run when he starts a diary, even though he knows it is a thought crime and can be fully punished for it: "His pen had slid voluptuously over the smooth paper, printing in large neat capitals- DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER, DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER over and over again, filling half a page" (19). After writing this, he felt panicked showing that he wanted to do it, yet knew it was wrong. If he was content with his life, he wouldn't have written this diary in the first place or felt guilty about writing it either. Winston's knowledge is also different from others, and it is clear to see in the Two Minutes Hate when he makes eye contact with O'Brien: "Momentarily he had caught O'Brien's eye...It was as though their two minds had opened and their thoughts were flowing from one into the other through their eyes. 'I am with you,' O'Brien seemed to be saying to him. 'I know all about your contempt, your hatred, your disgust.' And then the flash of intelligence was gone, and O'Brien's face was as inscrutable as everybody else's" (18). It is clear to see that Winston sees something wrong in the activities and the people participating in it. He doesn't like anything at all, but has to act like he does to avoid getting punished or vaporized. This is, after all a society that every person needs to blend in to because any "outcast" or "individual" is a threat to the leaders of the party. In chapter two when he continues his diary and writes "To the future or to the past, to a time when thought is free..to a time when truth exists and what is done cannot be undone" (27), it shows that he is yearning for society to be free, and is sick of abiding by the same ridiculous rules everyday. He wants to be different and knowledgable but knows he can't do such a thing.

Hours

The first of my hours began with a meeting with my mentor and the other two youth ambassadors on February 7th from 3-5 pm. We talked about rape in general, and discussed the many problems or types of incidents that may arise when it comes to rape trauma. We discussed things like victim blame, common misconceptions of rape, and the types of rape cases we know about. Jessica, my mentor, also went over the services RTS offers, and how we can get the word out at school by hanging up posters and giving out cards. This meeting was to basically get the ball rolling for us youth ambassadors.

Hours logged: 2

Yesterday, the 15th, me and another ambassador Maddie went to RTS to volunteer and do some projects. We began by putting together the guidance binders for the other volunteers with the other RTS volunteer program, and finished that in about an hour and a half. We then put together some information packets that get handed out to people that come in to RTS that can either be in English or Spanish. We did those for about another hour and then went home.

Hours logged: 2.5

TOTAL: 4.5 hrs

Stranger Than Fiction

When it comes to an author and a narrator, they can either be the same person, or two completely different people. The author can be the narrator as well, or they can write the story yet someone else tells it. For example, in the movie Stranger Than Fiction, Karen Eiffel, the author of Harold Crick's story, also narrated the whole thing in the movie. In this case, she served as both the author and the narrator. However, since it was Harold Crick's real life, it could be argued that he was the author of his own story since he created his daily routines and decisions, yet Eiffel just narrated what he did. The fact that there could be different interpretations as to who could be telling a story, serves as a really good example of what it means to be in control of telling a story. The author can have one goal as to what they want the audience to understand, yet that audience could have a totally different opinion. The ability to create a story and tell it leaves so many open ends for imagination, and that is a very powerful key that is important to note.

Since I had to write a research paper, it was important that I left out different opinions and biases because it would affect the accuracy and reliability of my research. Biased information is not a good source of research because it can leave out an opposing opinion or certain important facts about a particular topic. That is why I don't think I gave any information at the expense of certain people or groups because there weren't any opinions used and it was just a research paper based on fact and evidence. There was no need to persuade or put personal opinions of anyone. However, although it is a paper based on fact and evidence, I think my paper will draw attention to whoever reads it. Women's equality/role in society is such a hot topic that I think is interesting to everyone, and that most people have a lot of knowledge about, whether it is a lot or a little. I think something that was important was to leave out bias and non-factual evidence, yet make the paper clear, concise, and interesting for readers so it won't be a basic boring paper.